Caffeine is the most used and abused stimulant by human beings. The most common source? Coffee, of course! Here’s a humourous (and scientifically sound) take on the relationship between sleep and coffee.
To my darling little latte
I know this will come as a shock to you, but I think we need a break. When we started this love affair, I felt energized… as if I had been awakened for the first time. I looked forward to waking up, just so I could be with you. I loved how I felt around you – alert, productive. I felt like I could take on the world.
But lately, I just don’t feel well. When I’m with you I’m irritable and anxious and when we are apart I feel shaky and sore. I lie awake at night regretting seeing you so much that day. I can’t sleep at night, but I can’t get through my day without you. I think we have created an unhealthy dependency here.
While I know I cannot live without you completely, I am asking that we give each other a little more space. Let’s take things a little slower please. I will let you know when I am ready.
I cannot believe you are thinking like this and blaming me for all your troubles! If you want a break, go ahead, but I assure you, you won’t last a week. Run away from me and I know I will find you in the arms of other lovers soon… that ex, Cocoa, you never quite got over; not to mention that weirdo, Tea, you used to hang out with.
I want to remind you that we had a good thing going. I’m the one who woke you up each morning and helped you over those midday slumps. I reckon I had a big part to play in that promotion you got… and getting back into those jeans, finally.
When you realize your mistake, I will be waiting where you left me. I will be smoother, creamier and more delicious smelling than you remembered.
Your strong, dark, sweet Latte