Understanding what makes your friends and families feel loved is key to giving the right gift this festive season. In his book The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman outlines five ways that people give and receive love.
- Physical Touch - hugs, kisses, massages, holding hands etc..
- Gifts - Any gift-wrapped present, bought or made.
- Quality Time - Time set aside for one-on-one time eg. dates, outings, holidays etc..
- Acts of Service - cleaning the dishes, fetching the dry cleaning, mending the fence...
- Words of Affirmation - compliments, an encouraging SMS, a thoughtful card etc...
The basic idea is that everyone has a primary love language and this is the manner in which they want to fill their love tank. If your husband's primary love language is physical touch, he will feel loved after a Christmas holiday sprinkled with hand holding, hugs and cuddling. If your child's primary love language is quality time, then making some special Christmas memories together will be what they want.
So if you haven't completed your Christmas shopping just yet, then why not first figure out how to give well to each of your loved ones.
Hint: What your loved one gives to show they love you, is usually what they want to receive... they are speaking their love language to you.
So, if your husband is always bringing home gifts for you, then his love language is probably gift-giving so make sure you buy him a few thoughtful, tangible, gift-wrapped presents and put them under the tree. If your daughter is always leaving Thank-You cards next to your bed then make sure you spend some time writing a thoughtful card filled with what you love about her. If your Dad is always popping around to check your alarm is working and your car oil is good, then why not give him a few acts of service as his present this year? For him organising a carpet-cleaner voucher may make him feel unbelievably loved.
We are all unique and show our love in unique ways but we are also all the same- we all love feeling loved!
Please share your ideas on our Facebook page. We can't wait to hear how you loved your family and friends this Christmas.