How-to: Not get hired

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A few weeks ago fellow The Morning After blogger The Late Bloomer posted a blog that really moved me. The part that really stood out to me was the call for people to use their skills and what they know to help create better communities and ultimately a better country. She is truly all about about doing what you can where you are with what you have. This is me doing my best with what I know.

A lot of family members, friends and former colleagues  always contact me asking me to hire or mentor their newly-graduated children. I was a new graduate once and I am a senior member of a multi-million rand company. And what I know is corporates, hard work and selling. Most of the time I can't recommend — let alone hire — the people I am asked to consider.

  • Attitude
If you are trying to not get hired, do walk into a building with a bad attitude. Act like you are the best thing since pant suits, or worse Spandex. Show up at the time when your interview is supposed to start, let your interviewer sit waiting for you while you navigate parking and find the interview room. Be rude to the person sitting at the front-of-office desk.
The first interview I went to was a group interview, it was my first year of university and the company was a kiddies events company. The post was a part-time  junior position. A lot of the other interviewees were talking about how good they were and all they could bring. I didn't know anything about events but I was one of the two people hired because the manager and her assistant felt that I was helpful, enthusiastic and looked like I'd make a great slave (i.e no job was beneath me.)
  • Curriculum Vitae
Do use coloured paper
Use text speak lyk dis
Have spelling errors
Have a cute email address like  sexymess@gmail.com
Include irrelevant information like you were voted Miss whatever, twice and that somehow qualifies you to be a  personal assistant.
And my personal favourite, attach a photograph of yourself that looks like a mug-shot from a drunken night.
  • Follow up
Now this is my personal favourite, you know when the interviewer says to you: "We'll call you in a week to let you know how it went"? Ignore them, they don't know what they are talking about. Call the office the next day to find out and keep sending the interviewer messages on Facebook to find out if you got the job.
(I hope you realised that today is opposites day.)
My last word is that a qualification is not everything, there are a lot of well qualified inept people out there in the world. Go for your goals and do your best. Go on!

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