Thank goodness the FIFA Soccer World Cup is over.
Yes, I said it (what all wives and bosses... hang on wives are bosses... what all bosses have been thinking this month). Now we can all go back to:
a) sleeping in our beds, rather than on the couch;
b) falling asleep at 10pm instead of 1am; and
c) sleeping next to our partners.
I have not always been a hater. It's just that the timing of the World Cup stank for my little family. In 2010, you would have found me in a Long Street bar (or even better in the stadium) covered in face paint and happy as Larry. Fast forward four years and we have acquired a toddler, 3 month old baby and Labrador puppy. The only thing I remain passionate about is jumping into bed as soon as everyone is fed, washed and asleep (or perhaps napping is a more accurate term for our 3 month old's sleep pattern).
My hands-on-husband, however, remained steadfastly loyal to the beautiful game. He refused to hit the sack until the last goal had been kicked which meant that the month of July saw him reduced to a shadow of his former self. He would watch soccer til 1 am only to wake for work at 6am... although I suspect he may have been found sleeping on the job along with the rest of the earth's soccer fans... as he would return home the next evening ready to do it all again.
Meanwhile, I was nursing a 3 month old baby. This is inhumane under normal circumstances, however, the World Cup made it torture. I would often sit in the nursery, in the dark, for three feeds (8.30; 11.00 and 12.30) listening to screams of ecstasy and/or pain coming from our lounge. I would feel, on the one hand, a mixture of intense FOMO, and on the other, the urge to flick down the main switch on our electricity board.
You see while my husband would pass into a deep, luxurious slumber for 5 hours (not enough sleep I know) I was getting less than that, AND his sleep deprivation was pure recreational choice whilst mine was compulsory. The rings under his eyes were enough to make me want to lace his butternut soup with a strong anti-histamine.
There is only room for one sleep-deprived nut in this household, baby.
So thank goodness it is over. I am certain that, with the World Cup safely behind us, the world is a better place. Families will be sleeping better, work productivity shall rise and couples will start loving each other again. Let's just say there won't be many babies born in March 2015.
Farewell World Cup until we meet again in 2018.